Sometimes, it might seem like a person does not feel that they are not grieving as much as they should be. There are various reasons for this apparent absence of grief. It could be chalked up to a denial of truth and reality. It could also be due to the person subconsciously avoiding their own emotions and grief.
To many people, it might seem counterintuitive to seek out grief. Why would you want to actively feel emotions that are painful and remind you of your loss? However, feeling disconnected from your own grief and emotions can be strange and uncomfortable. Grief is a natural experience. It is made up of all the memories and moments that have been associated with the person that is no longer around. No matter how much it hurts or pains us, we still want to connect to those memories and thoughts. That is why it makes total sense that people would want to deliberately seek out their grief if it is not there. Disconnecting might numb the pain but in the long run, it is not a good or healthy mechanism for processing one’s grief.
Feeling nothing at all can have bad or negative implications. Not being connected to anything might leave you feeling like you are drifting through a time of mourning. There is nothing to anchor yourself to. You might observe other people mourning and grieving and feel all the more lonely. Disconnecting eventually leads to isolation. You might start to stay away from people and places that bring up memories of the deceased. People who isolate themselves often tend to spiral into intense episodes of depression. They might throw themselves into work. They might not go out often. Being disconnected from one’s emotions might seem tough on the exterior, but it is extremely damaging to one’s mental and emotional health.
Grief is not always a singular experience, but one that can be shared and felt through a community or a family. The memories of a loved one (including their life and death) are all part of your personal history and a greater collective history. Connecting with your grief can help you feel more connected to your history as well as your community (other people who were also close to the loved one).
Even if grief seems to be hidden or nowhere to be found, it still informs a major part of your life. The loss will always stay with you. There is no avoiding it. Confronting those thoughts and emotions might cause intense distress and negativity but they can also be incredibly healing and cathartic. Connecting to that grief is all part of the process to move on.
We firmly believe that everyone should mourn and process their grief in appropriate manners. With our professional experience of managing funeral services in Singapore, family members do not have to stress about the funeral preparations. You can rest and be assured that your loved one will have a dignified bereavement ceremony.