The holidays can be a challenging time for those who mourning the loss of a loved one. Amidst the festive atmosphere, it can be difficult to connect to the celebratory season. No matter how many presents you wrap up or how much dinner you stuff into your mouth, the absence of someone is simply a devastating change in reality.
However, what you should understand is that it is perfectly fine if your holidays are not perfect. People feel pressured to put up a strong and joyful façade during a time of merry and cheer. What they do not realise is that, it is very common to struggle with grief during such times of the year. Even if the loss happened a long time ago, the holiday season might trigger and reintroduce the pain and the grief that comes with missing someone so dear to your heart. Your grief is valid regardless of the mood of the party or the household.
How can grievers go easy on themselves during the festive season? As mentioned before, imperfection is perfection. While tradition is sacred and important, it is a reminder of the past. The past can be a tender issue for those burdened with grief. More often than not, most grievers try to keep traditional routines and practices exactly the same. But that does not help with the glaring difference that there is someone missing.
Rather than being anxious over breaking tradition, grievers (and likewise their supporters) can think about what tradition truly means. How can one honour tradition by giving it room for change? Being flexible about it enables growth and allows the griever to continue with tradition and celebrating the holidays.
Another skill grievers should learn is how to say ‘no’. During the holidays, stress and pressure might build up as more and more obligations start to fly in. If you are still dealing with your grief, perhaps think twice about accepting every invitation to an event. Try not to saddle yourself with too many responsibilities and social obligations. While it can be tempting to fill up your holiday schedule in a bid to project a strong front, it is wise to remember to take care of yourself.
Speaking of taking care of oneself, it is exceptionally important to set aside time for self-care. As much as it is a time to relax and unwind with friends and family, it is necessary that you invest that same time and effort into checking in with yourself.
Remember that grief need not be something that darkens your holiday experience entirely. Seek professional help if you need to. Ask someone to help you with hosting a gathering or decorating the house. If you have a support network, utilise them.
We have been providing both traditional and modern funeral services in Singapore. We are dedicated to giving our utmost support to families in mourning. Let us take care of the arrangements while you can grieve and send off your loved one in a dignified manner.